Category: Nuts and Bolts of Discernment Counseling
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Outcomes – Updated!
We now have outcomes from 2789 cases from Certified Discernment Counselors!
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How the leaning out spouse can prepare for discernment counseling
As the leaning out spouse, you have probably already thought long and hard about ending the marriage. You’ve considered (or at least tried to consider) every angle. Having shared your desire to end the marriage with your spouse, you are now being challenged: Why not reconcile? Why not at least try couples counseling (again?) At…
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The Leaning In Spouse Must be a Champion for the Marriage
If you are the leaning in spouse – the one who wants to pursue couples therapy in order to reconcile the marriage – you MUST be prepared to be what we call the champion for the marriage. If you have both agreed to pursue discernment counseling, your preparation for the process includes a consistent focus…
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What is the Personal Agenda for Change?
Hopefully, through discernment counseling, both spouses gain insight into their own contributions to the problems in the marriage. They also recognize the importance of personal agency; that is, they understand the importance of focusing more on their own behaviors than those of their spouse. Regardless of the chosen path at the end of discernment, both…
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Outcomes
The Doherty Family Institute did a study that looked at the outcome of 100 consecutively seen discernment counseling cases. Here’s what they found. BUT WAIT! Some people see this and think … “I’m not going to do discernment counseling if it is only 47% effective!” While we love it when couples choose to work toward…