Category: 3 paths
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Transitioning to couples counseling after discernment counseling
You’ve completed discernment counseling and chosen Path 3 — a commitment to “all-in” couples therapy with divorce off the table for that period of time. As you transition into couples therapy, the goal is to maintain the momentum of insight, clarity and motivation for change that you’ve developed in discernment. If you were referred to…
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What is the Personal Agenda for Change?
Hopefully, through discernment counseling, both spouses gain insight into their own contributions to the problems in the marriage. They also recognize the importance of personal agency; that is, they understand the importance of focusing more on their own behaviors than those of their spouse. Regardless of the chosen path at the end of discernment, both…
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Why discernment counseling is especially appealing to the leaning out partner
Discernment counseling is particularly appealing to the Leaning Out spouse for several reasons: Discernment counseling allows the leaning out spouse the opportunity to consider options for the marriage without feeling pressured. The discernment counselor recognizes the emotional exhaustion of many leaning out spouses and the hopelessness they probably feel. Unlike traditional long-term therapy, discernment counseling…
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Choosing Path 1: The decision to reconcile or divorce is put on hold
When a couple is still unable to decide between reconciliation and divorce, they opt for Path 1 (status quo). The term “status quo” may be a little misleading here. Path 1 protects couple from two very problematic scenarios: giving up on a marriage prematurely OR entering into half-hearted couples therapy that is likely to fail.…
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What to expect in discernment counseling
The first step is for each spouse to have a 15-20 minute phone call (separately) with the discernment counselor. In this call, you will learn about the goals and structure of discernment counseling and we will discuss whether it is a good fit for your current needs. After the phone call, each spouse decides if…