Author: DohertyFamilyInstitute
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Marriage and the “Consumer Culture”
Bill Doherty has a great explanation of how marriage, over the past decades, has turned into “consumer” based arrangements. The consumer marriage focuses on what I want more than what I give. Our wants in a relationship quickly become non-negotiable “needs” and we are set-up to be chronically dissatisfied. Listen to this great explanation of…
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Is your marriage on the brink of divorce?
Please watch this video and then answer the quiz below. https://vimeo.com/130921512 Choose the statement below that best describes your situation. I’m done with this marriage; it’s too late now even if my spouse were to make major changes. I have mixed feelings about the divorce; sometimes I think it’s a good idea and sometimes I…
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Who to talk to – and who NOT to talk to – around a potential divorce
We’ve seen people in your shoes—a spouse announces a divorce—make a bunch of mistakes when it comes to talking with others. One mistake is to not tell anyone, often out of shame or to avoid recognizing the threat at real. The result is isolation and stewing in one’s juices. A second mistake is to tell…
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A marriage isn’t over until it’s over
It’s commonly believed that when people enter the legal divorce process, they have come to accept the reality that divorce is inevitable. Even therapists and lawyers tend to assume that once divorce papers are filed, ambivalence about divorcing is over and the only task ahead is to help couples have a constructive end to their…
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What defines cheating?
Couples can get into muddy waters when it comes to one person feeling really “off” about their spouse’s “friendship” with someone who could become a romantic partner. This can lead to a lot of fights about what is cheating. Does it have to involve physical contact? These debates don’t actually sooth anyone: the partner who…