At the completion of discernment counseling, couples have gained a deeper understanding of what has happened to their marriage to get to the point where divorce is an option, and each spouse is aware of their own contributions to the problems. Based on this understanding and awareness, couples choose one of three paths for their marriage.
Path One: Status Quo – The decision is put on hold and couples agree to neither pursue therapy nor divorce. Often, the greater awareness of the problematic interactions and each person’s contribution results in a more peaceful and mutually respectful co-habitation.
Path Two: Separation/Divorce – In path two, couples decide to move forward with ending the marriage. Couples who ultimately choose to divorce after discernment are better equipped to handle the divorce process with less animosity and other-blaming. Their increased clarity and confidence in the decision making process can provide a calmer foundation for the painful process of divorce.
Path Three – Therapy – When choosing path three, couples commit to a minimum of six-months of all-in marital therapy. With divorce completely off the table, couples bring a focus on personal change with the goal of reconciliation. Marriage therapists who see couples post-discernment often remark about the efficiency and productivity of couples therapy sessions.